Jack Kelly - Who Was That Masked Columnist? :)

Hello All! The late Jim Croce sang a song titled You Don't Mess Around With Jim. In addition to not messing around with Jim, the lyrics advise, "You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger".

But, in 1979, someone did pull the mask off the Lone Ranger. Clayton Moore was renowned for portraying the legendary masked man in films and on television. However, when the Wrather Corporation decided to produce a new feature film version of The Lone Ranger, they chose a younger, unknown actor for the part. What's worse, they legally barred Moore from wearing his trademark mask in public.

Unfortunately, Jim Croce was gone by this time. Fortunately, though, Clayton Moore and "the old Lone Ranger" had another defender in 1979: a columnist for the Huntington Beach News by the name of Jack Kelly. JK, of course, knew something about cowboy heroes, and, as you'll see from his column dated September 27, 1979, he also knew something about writing:

"There's a gag card making the rounds: 'Old Actors Never Die--They Just Fail to Perform.' I'll be the first to publicly deny the allegation if you promise never to question my wife. Her answer could wreck a career.

"There is one actor who will never die, and as sure as Tonto is faithful, has never failed to perform. He's a great guy named Clayton Moore. He played the Lone Ranger for so many years, the silver bullets have tarnished. He galloped so many cinematic miles on the great steed Silver, he should be enshrined in Hollywood Park. Clayton saved so many sod busters from cattlemen's wrath, they should have named chicken fried steak after him. He used so many silver bullets as momentoes to startled and thankful range families, laid end-to-end they'd stretch from Dodge City to the Chicago stockyards. His courage-provoking salutation, 'Hi-Yo, Silver, Awayyy!', is more memorable a rallying cry than 'Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!', or 'Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition'.

"Clayton Moore's next birthday celebration could be his 50th, 58th, 63rd, 69th, or 75th--one answer you'll never get from him is whether I'm being vindictive or kind--though his body still easily slips into a 32" waist, to get him to discuss his birthdate would be an accomplishment equal to proving Wilt Chamberlain wears elevator shoes, Chrysler Corporation isn't really stupidly managed, or John Wayne is a bad guy!

"Clayton Moore is so loyal to the Lone Ranger, he wouldn't go to a restroom at the L.A. Coliseum without wearing his mask. He's so determined to separate his private life from the outstanding fictional hero of the West, he'd likely be fingered as the masked rapist in a police lineup, and still wouldn't request Tonto to vouch for his character.

"Since The Lone Ranger went off the air, Clayton has been earning a living at state fairs, rodeos and every other conceivable personal appearance where his services are continually requested by eager entrepreneurs. Last week, Clayton Moore was legally ambused as indelicately as when the 'dirty little coward' plugged Mr. Howard, as when the infamous Bob Ford squeezed the shot that propelled Jesse James into an orbit of American folk legend.

"The Wrather Corporation, owners of the Lone Ranger rights and trademarks, successfully enjoined Clayton Moore from ever appearing again as the masked crusader. Ain't it a shame. A man who subverted his own identification to perpetuate his fictional career partner will have to hang up mask, six-guns and future as if he were a hopeless mosquito, smashed on the forearm of a jet-setter taking sun in Acapulco? 

"The Wrather Corporation is into a rejuvenation cycle of the Lone Ranger, in keeping with the the Superman flick of recent issue. Since westerns have vacated TV and theatres for the past ten years or so, the Lone Ranger movie should be successful. The producer is rightfully protecting his ability to capitalize on appearances of the new artist portraying the legendary hero. 

"Mr. Wrather, for a happy birthday to Clayton, whenever it is or whichever one it is, you might consider appointing him to a position of value in the new project. He's been of continual value over the years by keeping Silver's rider unsullied."

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Alas, the Wrather Corporation didn't take JK's hint and failed to give Moore a role in the new film, which was released in 1981 as The Legend of the Lone Ranger. But, after the film bombed big-time, Clayton Moore was allowed to wear his famous mask once more. :)